![]() ![]() "I have an L-shaped sofa… Lowercase." ( Demetri Martin)."I have a girlfriend! I've been going out with my girlfriend for… sex!" ( Stewart Francis)."What a magnificent show this is going to be when it starts!" ( Ken Dodd)."They hired a 3-piece band that was so lousy, every time the waiter dropped a tray, we all got up and danced!" ( Les Dawson)."I have nothing to declare except my genius." ( Oscar Wilde, upon arriving at US customs, 1882)."What Iran needs now is a more modern leader-a mullah lite." ( Shappi Khorsandi)."I'm on a whiskey diet… I've lost three days already." ( Tommy Cooper). ![]()
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